bloom. the road is yours ahead.

if I could take a thousand photographs
capture everything you do
I would place them in my pocket 
for a later time.
I know I will want them.
But I know you want space.
SO, I just watch you bloom.
I watch in awe.
you are just growing.
Growing into a man that I guess I knew eventually you would become.
But it all seems so surreal.
You know what? almost 14 years ago, I became a mom.
It has been on my mind a lot recently because this is the time of year that all my babies have birthdays.
They age.
But this one, he made me a mom.

You know during those nine months that you will be having a baby.
You know you will be kept up nights.
That you will change diapers.
You will teach and teach.
You know all that.
What you don't know.
Is a lot.
You don't know that sending him off to school on that first day of kindergarten will be just painful.
You don't know that you will STILL get a stomach ache anytime you say yes to letting him ride with someone else.
You don't know that one day he will actually tell you he hates you.
You don't know if that will pass.
But it will.
You don't know that you will secretly wish he likes the nice girl. not the rude one.
That
You don't know all this.
And what you really don't know is how in just a matter of no time.
He will be reaching things that are too high for you to reach, and you will be wearing his over sized shoes out to the mailbox.
You can't hardly imagine the pride you will feel when you realize what a good person that baby has become.
That he's got a pretty good head on.

You don't really know if the worry will ever really go away.
I am starting to think it just won't.
woah. 14 years.