the breakfast club.

why do we blog?

I haven't for a long while now.
There has been a shift.
I am raising teenagers.
My life is so full, and I want to be an encouragement, a calm cheerleader, a good example to my kids.
And by kids, I mean ALL the kids that come into my life, through my own.
There are so many now.
It has made me loose my voice online recently.
I feel like I open my mouth,
but I just want to take in air instead.
I feel overwhelmed a little.
Because I feel like I need to just be quiet and protect them. Hug them. Cheer them on.
To fight their battles with mean teachers and bullies and self doubt.
To shine on the unique and special individuals they each are.
It's like I have been placed back in the middle of all those teenage dramas that once were mine.
That once felt like my whole world.
That now, I smile silently to, because I know, in the end it doesn't even matter.
LIFE IS SO MUCH MORE.
But I remember, so I would never make them feel little. To them, it's not.
I wish I could fix it for them.
All of them.
To let them see themselves as I do.
Beautiful and amazing, and so much more than a label.
So much more than their insecurities, and fears...and foolishness...
that somehow, at that age, seems to be inevitable.

SO I ask myself again.
Why? why did I ever start blogging?
Was my life more empty then?
Was I searching for something?
Was I just trying to capture every simple moment that made my heart full.
I think I knew.
With a brand new baby.
Baby #3
I knew, that in a blink....there would be a shift.
I didn't know how else to hold onto it.

My blog shifted to my new little business.
and I lost a lot of my voice.
I wasn't sure how much was too much...
would it be okay to be so personal still?
I started holding back.

Did I know that blogging would become this crazy mainstream thing?
That all the new mommies would become bloggers?
That every morning I would become one of the members?
My " breakfast club" of bloggers.
The blogs I go to each morning while I sip my coffee, or more often these days, fresh juice.
Did I know, that without even meeting these people, I would start to care and worry and cheer these women on? That their kids would now become part of my circle...ones I would want to hug and encourage too?
That they would inspire me as well.
That sometimes, they would make me want to be so much more.
That sometimes they would make me think maybe I am not enough...
that mine was just a silly little blog. Full of ramblings.

I blog because they are mine.
My ramblings.
My thoughts.
My bits.
Snapshots.
A diary.
My life.

This morning I had an ache.
And a moment when I was seeing it all jumbled together.
All the bits.
The teenagers and my breakfast club of bloggers....
We are all the same.
We are all different.
We are all at the places in life, the seasons that we are in.
Some of us are just learning to change diapers.
And some, are just learning how to make a teenager believe in themselves.
We all think life is beautiful.
Otherwise, why would we share it?
It made me think of the actual Breakfast Club.
(and some of you may be too young to have it on your best movie ever list)
But......
in simplest terms.... we are everything.
Mothers, daughters, teachers, artists, amazing and lost.
we are a brain, an athlete, a basket case, a princess, and a criminal
sincerely yours,
me

seriously.

It's awesome. but you make it that way

A few months ago, I was at the fabric store. (what!? me...at the fabric store, I know. you are shocked)

It was a Friday afternoon and I was thanking the woman who had just cut my yards of fabric for me.

"Have a great day, and yay, it's Friday!"

the woman grumbled.

"doesn't make any difference anyway. same as any other day...except now my kids will be home all weekend to annoy me."

WOW.

didn't expect that one coming.

BUZZ. KILL.

SO, instead of skipping off to my car, like I normally do, no lie....I sort of stumbled to it.

I sat down and thought to myself, hmmm. is she right?

If you know me, then you know, that this thought lasted for only a brief minute.

UM, Nooooo. She is not right.

Sure every other day is pretty much the same as Friday.

And sure, I am not all dancing queen at a club with my man in DC on a Friday night like I was many decades ago...

And yes, the kids will be home, and they will make messes and I will yell.

But isn't that sort of awesome?

Yep. It's Friday and that's AWESOME.

this got me thinking, but why? 

Being awesome is a state of mind.

On Fridays, I have a hot lunch date with my guy.

(and by hot I mean, we go out for lunch and let someone else make us something hot)

But, knowing that, I do try to dress a little cuter, put a little more bounce in my step.

WE DECIDED that that is what we want to do on Fridays.

On Friday, the BEAN, has, "slurpee Friday."

She loves slurpees. 

I made up "slurpee Friday" so she stopped asking me for one every day.

But, it makes Friday awesome for her. 

She says it every Friday morning...

"yay! It's Friday!!!"

Everyone in this house is always happy that it's Friday...

SO, the more I thought about this, the more I realized that this attitude:

 could, should and will be applied to the every day.

That doesn't mean, we'll go out like we do on Fridays...

but what if I wake up on Sunday and think:

YES, today my house is going to smell like laundry!!

 (one of my favorite, favorite smells)

instead of: o.joy.laundry.

I bet, without even trying too hard even, I could maybe think why every single day of the week is awesome.

EVEN...that dreaded MONDAY! :)

The point is...

It's Friday, and I want you to feel good about that.

I want you to feel good every day.

It's going to be awesome.

But you are the one making it that way.

standing back up

everyone is already in bed tonight. early.

but I was just not quite there yet.
Did I tell you guys, I sprained my ankle?
yup. such an OUCH move.
And annoying.
And depressing.
It has been 2 whole weeks.
I finally put on a pair of normal shoes today.
Boots. YAY! But they have to be the zip up kind.
Still can't bend my foot in a way to put into a normal, normal shoe.
I  have been SLOW when it comes to aubreyplays since then.
well, actually everything.
So, I just spent the past hour reading this past year on this blog.
I cried a little. I also smiled a lot.
ahhhh. there I am! I kept thinking.
It was a good thing for me to do.
If you are still around, paying any attention at all to this little blog of mine,
I thank you.
Do you hit patches in your life,
where all it takes is a couple of kicks in the knee and you sort of feel like you are

down for the count? 

And then you are all like, WAAAA..
nobody loves me....guess I'll eat some worms.
NO?
yeah, me either.
(Please tell me your mama used to sing you that song too? about the worms)

foot is feeling better.
I'll get there soon too.
I think I am going to go back now and re-read my take back your awesome post.
I hope you have a great night,
and an awesome weekend!!

hello, doll.

hello sweetness.

hello sheek nerd.
and hello little heart knee patches.
hello one of a kind special awesomeness.
hello lovely hairclip.
hello sassy buns.
Say hello to these fabulous dolls.
Each One of a kind and ready to ship.
just for you.

she is made with love and care.

each detail is carefully sewn for quality and charm.

HELLO to a whole new doll in the aubreyplays collection.

Much like my flapper babies, these "hello dolls" just make you feel feminine and sweet.

 Each made one of a kind, based on my glorious stash and  my current whims.

Grab the one you like while it is still available! No two are alike!

instagram killed the blog-star

image: parada creations via etsy

yeah, until I got my hands on an instagram account....

my poor followers see it all. 

the good.

the bad.

the ugly.

One click of a button.

a couple quick clicks of the keys...

and I've gotten any and all of the current thoughts off my chest.

lately... this has been playing in my mind.

I think it might be just a little bit true.

are you playing with instagram now more too?

listening to the quiet

my house is a bustling place.
seriously.
there is hardly ever silence.
and I the mama, am never really alone here. ever.
I won't lie. there have been occasions that I thought...
wouldn't it be nice if they would all just leave me alone here, just for a bit?
I know I am lucky though.
It means my life is full.
Full of so much.
And I love them to bits...my crazy posse. I. love. them.

ANYWAY,
When they were building this house, over eight years ago, we used to come out on the weekends.
Two toddlers in tow...and hang out on "our land."
We would imagine our new lives here.
Our new chapter. How it would be.
It would tickle me the way the kids would say, "can we explore our land?"
(the whole 1/2 acre of it)

We came from a bustling city.
We really lived sort of in the hub of it. There was never quiet.
On those weekends out here, I would say,
Listen to how QUIET it is!
I loved it.
I would always wistfully think it won't stay that way.
Not once all the houses get built and this neighborhood is finished....

After the kids got onto the bus this morning I stood out on the deck.
Snow was melting....and I heard it.
The quiet.
I stood still and soaked it in.
I could hear the roosters on the farm behind me, and some cows off in the distance.
All I could think is woah. even in this bustling neighborhood, during a time that people are leaving for work...
for those many minutes, it was quiet.

So sometimes, I still get to listen to it.
And that is awesome.
Because sometimes the best thing in the world for you to listen to
is the QUIET.
I feel like a new woman ;)
Happy Friday!