this girls best friends

I guess that is a grand statement to make about inanimate objects.

but still.
I always was really lucky and had really full eyelashes and mostly just used an eyelash curler to give them some umph.
I was lucky, until I had kids.
I actually remember that first week home with my new little watching handfuls of my thick hair go down the drain. Was it the stress I felt at not wanting to fail as a new mom? Or would my body have done it no matter what? I don't really know. It was sad. But, I told myself that my thick hair always sort of drove me nuts anyways.
silly younger me.
so I guess I am about to write a love story of sorts.
Because I remember the day that I said thank god for mascara.
I love you mascara.
AND recently, I also have thought the same thing about that eyebrow pencil up there...
The younger me would have never believed it. ever.
You know how some things in life, when you look back on them, you thought it was some MAJOR deal.
Like it was more traumatic than it needed to be at the time.
silly younger you.
I had one of those moments. It seems silly that I can remember every detail.
Because it seemed at the time, like sort of a big deal.
About 10 years ago, I was a brand new mama, who got little sleep and remember noticing that my right set of eyelashes were turning snow white. I had sort of noticed the white ones, but now there were A LOT.  AND, not only that, but the eyebrow on the same side looked like it was turning white too.
HUH? what was up with that?
I jumped online and googled it.
googled it!?
silly younger me.
CANCER was what popped up the most.
No, I thought. I have two brand new littles.
no.
But, the girl who HATES doctors made an appointment that very day and a week later was sitting on the doctors table watching my doctor, who seemed perplexed write down a name of a specialist she wanted me to see. "But, what is it?" I asked her.
Her response? "I just don't know."
It took 6 weeks to get in to see that specialist.
6 agonizingly LONG weeks of me hearing "I just don't know." over and over in my head.
no, I thought.
This isn't a big deal.
But it sure as cats felt like it.
That morning my mom watched the babies.
I spent 45 minutes waiting in the waiting room.
Then, I spent another 25 waiting for the doctor to come into the room.
I was sitting on that hard exam table about ready to burst.
I was only 26 years old. What was wrong? what was he going to tell me?
seriously!? don't they know I am dying of cancer or something!?
The doctor was an older man. He reminded me of my grandfather, except he had the worst bedside manner.
Either that, or I was like, over the waiting already and annoyed.
He was in the room for about 5 seconds.
Walked over to me, took one look at me and said,
"you have snuffleluffogas."
okay, that's not what he said. But it sure sounded like it to me.
I took a big breath and asked, "what is that?"
PRE.MATURE AGING. he said, like I was deaf or something.
And, he got this smurk.
WAS HE MAKING FUN OF ME!?
he was already gathering up his stuff and preparing to leave.
I had waited 6 weeks, plus 45 minutes, plus another 25 minutes.
That was it!?
"wait" I stopped him, "what does that mean? does that mean I might wake up one day and have one white eyebrow?"
the smirk again, " well, yes. that is a possibility. It is probably genetic. It usually happens to men. So....you are lucky."
and with that, he turned around and left.
silly younger me.
If this happened today, I would have made it clear to him that I was not some young thing that he could condescend. Today I would like to think I would have made it completely clear to him that he was rude.
Well, I thought. you have snuffleluffogas too I thought...and you have purple hair coming out of your ears.
I left really really upset.
I called my mom, and crying I said "I don't have cancer.  I have suffleluffogas and, and, well, onedayIamgoingtowakeuptoonewhiteeyebrow."
silly younger me.
I think back on this and sort of giggle.
It wasn't a big deal. But it sure sort of felt like it.
I wish I could go back and slap both of those doctors.
For completely wasting my time.
For probably adding to my gray hairs.
That weekend I invested my whole heart to great lash mascara extra black.
But, I thought, there is no way I am eye lining my eyebrows.
old ladies do that.
old ladies with purple hair.
Well. that one day finally happened recently.
Ten years later.
I had been in the back of my head dreading it.
Secretly hoping I could just keep getting by with that little white eyebrows.
I sighed knowing it was time.
It took a couple different tries to find that right shade of black with a touch of chocolate.
I was paranoid that they would end up purple. Or strange....
I switched mascaras too. Now that I am older I needed a mascara that gave me a little more fullness...
a little more umph.
The other morning I thought about how UNIMPORTANT this whole post is actually.
But, that I just couldn't help it. I love those two things. Inanimate or not.
SO, on this Friday morning, I wrote this long post, but I want to leave you with this.
Feeling comfortable in your own skin is important.
Knowing that some things really aren't that big of a deal is important too.
But don't ignore what you are feeling. Silly as it feels. It makes up who you are.
Feel who you are. Listen to yourself.
Today, I tell myself,  "who cares I have white eyelashes and a mostly white eyebrow!?"
I am really, really grateful for all that I do have.
But that doesn't make it wrong to be really really grateful for a couple of girls best friends too.

I guess he was right. that stupid doctor.
I am LUCKY.
Happy Friday-
now, go get some mascara.