about HOMESCHOOLING. laying it all out there.

Some big changes are happening around here.
I'm gearing up to start a new home school journey.
I'm embarrassed to admit, it's not something that I have been bragging about.

I've done the home school thing.
And, I discovered that the assumptions, preconceptions, and quick judgments got to me before.
They stung a little.
They felt sort of like being bitten on the ass.

I think I avoid the whole topic because I don't want to have a discussion about it with the people I live around. I am stunned actually. Because the things that people say...
I feel like I can't really win.
SO I don't try to.

My two older kids were homeschooled for a few years.
I did it because it was what was best.
I am glad I did it.
They benefited from it.
When they were ready to go back to school, and join clubs and have lockers, I let them go.

I think I can fairly say I have given them all a fair chance.
I have done public school.
(where we live, it was disappointing)
I have done private school. (it got more and more expensive)
I homeschooled.

I have to be honest.
I think at some point I had a couple of the same thoughts about homeschoolers.
It was never in my plans.
But even the best laid plans change....
I'm going to say what I want to say most of the time here.
Most of the time I nod politely, because I don't want to seem like I know better.
Most of the time, I bite my tongue.
I do know better for me and for my kids,
but I don't know better for you.

Homeschooling moms are crazy, controlling, over religious, out of touch over protective moms.
no.
I have met a lot of women who home school and completely break the mold.
They are rock stars.
As for me, I purposefully try to find  a curriculum, and an approach that is real world based.
I try to find one that is not religion based. Not because I am anti God.
Not because I am anti religious.
I do it because I want to approach school in the most neutral way possible.
I want to teach my kids about all the different religions, holidays, cultures.
I want them to make choices for themselves.
I am teaching them to learn. I am not teaching them how to think.
I do not home school my kids because of my religious beliefs.

1.So, how are your Judaism studies going?
um, what?
I heard you pulled your son out of school because you were studying Judaism.
um, oh. No. We aren't doing that. We are just home schooling now. 
{whaaaaa?}

2. Did your son get suspended from a fight? Is that why you are homeschooling?
no. no fight...
{Yep. People said these things to me. People hear random rumors. They decide that YOU MUST be homeschooling for an odd reason.
SOMETHING must have happened....
Nothing really happened. A lot of things weren't working. A lot of things were disappointing. My gut told me it was worth giving a go. My gut told me I wasn't doing my kids any service at that school.

When My son went back to school he was more confident about his brain. He was more sure of what they expected. I knew that he knew basic skills that they had never taken the time to ensure he knew. He was a good kid, so he got a good grade and they moved him along. They didn't care if he had actually learned anything. They didn't care as long as he could take their tests and make their money.
They were doing him and themselves a disservice.

3. OHHH, she'll be fine there. It's just because you have coddled her. It's because you didn't put her in daycare or preschool.
yep. I know she would be fine there. I know it would seem a lot easier to you to just send her off to school every day. But you know what? I also know she will be bored.  She is really advanced for her age. um, wow. even with no preschool.
{just wondering here, why does there have to be something wrong with my kid? WHY does that have to be the reason she is being home schooled? There is nothing wrong with my kid.

SO here's the thing.
I DO NOT think my kids are better than yours.
I DO NOT think you are a bad parent for sending them off to school.
I DO NOT think it is fair for you to judge me OR my kids for being home schooled.
For you to judge why now the older ones are back at school and the younger one is not.
I do not think I have to explain myself.
When you stand there, and act like I am crazy, or that there must be something wrong with my kid, I just nod and smile.
I don't think I should have to explain to you that my older daughter ranked number 5 in the whole country for reading and comprehension. That she tested out of school (past 12th grade). That she is ranked as a "genius" by the sates standards. That her little sister who is starting Kindergarten is just like her. That her little sister will be bored and frustrated. That I have learned from experience and I am being proactive. 
There are no programs in our public school system for her yet.
I don't tell you THAT is why I am home schooling her.
I don't tell you this because I do not want to seem like I am bragging.
I don't tell you this because I do not want my daughters to overhear and think they are better than anyone else.
I don't homeschool because I really want to.
I wish that I could send them to some magical school where learning was fulfilling.
That learning wasn't taught purely for some test.
That learning was for the sole benefit of our children.
It's not.
I do it because it is the best choice I have for them at this point in their lives.

So, if you have made it this far in my post-
I am sorry.
This went way more out there than I meant to go.
As a parent, I am doing my very best to give my kids the very best.
There are so many different versions of the very best based on everyone uniquely.
I learned A LOT on my last homeschool journey.
It makes me feel stronger and more confident about the new one I am about to start.
I write this to encourage you to play by our own rules too.
I am at peace with what we have decided is the very best for our kids.
And if I am at peace, then THAT is really all that should matter.