Saturday, June 23, 2012

The Day I got asked to the Emmys: Part 5

I waited almost breathlessly for my cell phone to ring.
Ohmygosh what a success story this could be!
I was so very FLOORED that she had emailed me back.
I was DYING. What was she going to tell me when I picked up that phone?
I had gotten her attention.
They were willing to bet on me...half way.
I'd only need to cover the other half.
I told her I'd let her know.
I had till morning to decide.
I also would have 4 days to get it all done.
I hung up and had to sit down.
I just sat there sort of stunned.
I thought about the conversation I just had.
AND then, I looked at the clock.
I was supposed to be picking up my daughter right now.
I flew out the door and thought hard on the way there.
My son was getting sick.
I think I forgot to feed anyone all day.
My daughter had an audition next Sunday. Would I make it back in time? 
If I didn't would I be okay with that?
This woke me up and made me think about this whole thing from a whole different angle.
It's hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.
Is this the right time?
She gave me 5 days to pull this off and be there. 5 days.
I was now down to only 4.
Was 4 days enough to give aubreyplays it's all?
Am I ready to be not present for my kids if this did go big?
Is that the kind of mom I'd ever want to be?
Am I ready to let someone else decide for me what my time frame is?
Or am I going to take this crazy confidence this whole experience gave me
and make it happen on my own terms?

It seems sort of fitting that this last post is going up on the day.
I said no to the Emmys.
It's still a little painful to say that.
I feel like I disappoint in not being a total bad@ and doing it.
I'm sorry that this story didn't end in a more exciting way.
It really would have been fun to tell you all about it.
But my story isn't over.
I think I am still going to try to be a bad@.
I had no guarantee of meeting Ellen, or Oprah, or Rachael Ray, or Martha.
In reality, that's what I would have wanted.
So I am going to have to start writing some letters.
Not someone I am paying.

You only Live once.
I 'd rather be at that audition tomorrow feeling as proud as a mom can be
than in LA meeting complete strangers.
I wasn't really excited about meeting them.
I was excited that they were meeting ME.
I'm happily needed here right now.

I'm not going to lie.
I'm probably going to need to drink a couple of margaritas tonight.
Maybe I'll put on some pretty shoes while doing it.

I'd really like to thank the Emmys for perhaps being my most favorite mistake.
You sparked a fire in me.
But for me,
for my right now,
it wasn't a mistake at all.
I stayed true to who I am.
I stayed true to what aubreyplays stands for.
AND I'm finally okay with that.


  1. I can't imagine getting everything prepared, to your standard, and not being completely stresed out. Good for you for staying true to yourself. Enjoy those margaritas.

  2. Do you honestly believe that this story didn't end in some grand, exciting way!?
    I think the most exciting thing about this entire tale is that you were considered. Ok, that's actually not the most exciting thing but it's the first. Then you struggled with it when so many people would say, " Uh, yeah....I'm betting our savings on this and not even considering how you feel about it husband and kids ".
    Then you made the call that you knew was the right call. And it wasn't the one with the dazzling dollar signs. It was the one where you felt content. And peaceful.
    And you deserve to sit in that peace a while, dude. You have a pretty good gig, yeah? Why mess with it? :)

    1. I totally agree with Lesley. I think you made the right decision AND you should be celebrating that you were offered this incredible opportunity to begin with!

      Also, how awesome would it to be to write Oprah and Ellen and tell them this whole story? That you chose your family over the Emmies because that's why you started your business to begin with - to support them?

      Love ya, friend.

  3. oh Aubrey this was insane! Seriously what an incredible opportunity you were given and only because YOU are incredible. They saw that and knew. So glad you stayed true to yourself. So proud of you for making a decision you can have a peace about and just know that your stuff rocks and you rock and that is why you were even considered!
    Love you!

  4. You did what your heart knew needed to be done. There is no greater joy than that. Besides, you got asked!!!!!!!

  5. I totally agree with all that has been said above - girl, I was on the edge of my seat reading about this! I think you're amazing. DAZZLING! I hope you kicked back with your glass and savored just how freaking INCREDIBLE that whole experience was. Maybe the emmys can't handle your awesomeness ; )


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