sometimes.

Sometimes the house full of three kids and a dog is so insane and I feel like I surely will be quite mad by the next day. I say save me. Out loud.
I will go mad surely.
Sometimes I am going about my tasks and wishing I were doing anything but the dishes again.
Sometimes, I feel as if I may just burst because I have so many ideas....
and so little time.
Sometimes, I think about that young bride who thought love conquers the world and being perfect was better than being Martha Stewart. That a spotless house said everything.
Sometimes I think I am doing it all wrong, like there really is no method to my madness.
Sometimes I ask myself, what if...
Wow, what if I had not had these three adorable babies?
That have taught me that there is no such thing as a selfish me anymore. not ever.
That have given me new ideas and new reasons daily.
That have made me happier than I even thought possible, and prouder too.
That have made me strong because sometimes you can't always be nice. You have to stick up for what's right, because if you don't..how will they know how to? Even if sometimes that means they hate me.
Sometimes they hate me.
Sometimes I have that moment.
When it all hits me.
I asked for this. And I got it.
I have everything I ever hoped for and more.
I will have more time someday.
A spotless house in a real life world is not even possible.
And love still does conquer most. But not all.
That the method is my method and the madness is my madness.
I should just own it and get over it.
That I honestly really and truly can't even imagine a life without these three babes.
Even as they enter not babe-ness.
And I can't hardly even remember life before this crazy house.
I guess sometimes it just takes a minute to think about it.
And they don't actually hate me.
well, maybe a little sometimes.