Wednesday, July 13, 2011
Might I set you free and still hang out for a bit?
She's wanted to do sports for ever.
She's asked and asked when she could like her big brother and sister.
She was finally ready. She was finally the right age they require.
I'm not sure I was.
I wasn't ready to see her blow me a kiss and run off to learn to play soccer.
I wasn't ready to see from that distance how long her hair is now and how big she actually is.
How she can handle herself JUST FINE without me.
I wasn't ready to watch her disappointment when she didn't understand that they are SUPPOSED to take the ball from you. They weren't just being mean. THAT IS SOCCER.
I wasn't ready for the wind that got knocked out of me at her self disappointment when things weren't going just how she had hoped. It hurt me to just stand there and try to let her figure it out by herself. I wasn't just being mean. I want her to survive.
I wasn't ready to watch my last little bean run off into the world and be her own person.
I'm trying to be. I promise I am. But I'm just not ready. Not yet.