Sometimes. A bird sings so earnestly. With such passion. you have no choice, but to stop and listen to it. For that moment, the world stops.
This is what went through my mind tonight, as I sat in the car waiting for my daughter.
It was such a beautiful day, though it was almost over, and I had barely noticed until that moment.
And this bird, I swear, it was singing right. to. me.
So much so, that I had to search the skies for it...
and I could not feel at peace until I found it.
When I did, I lost my breath.
This tiny little bird who blended in with the color of its surroundings,
it had completely captured me.
I couldn't help but wonder why.
I found myself thinking about little bitty things.
How I feel like sometimes, NO ONE hears me.
That what I am doing is not making a difference.
That my kids just think I'm insane.
But I looked at this little bird and realized
I AM WRONG.
So many times, I find myself trying so very hard to be SO GOOD.
To make everyone happy.
To teach everyone well.
To balance it all without having to explain why or how.
I'm just walking that tight rope like everyone else, and there is no way in hell I'm falling off.
Even if that means I'm not doing it exactly right, even if it is exhausting.
I'm staying on there.
Though, I suppose in some of those moments my kids aren't actually that happy with me right?
And I guess, it is those exact moments that make me feel like I'm failing a little.
After living with me, for Oh I don't know
ALL THEIR LIFE....
how come they have to be told again?
I decide in frustration that they aren't even listening to me.
I tell them, I COULD not care. I COULD ignore them.
It would be so much easier I tell them...
except that, I love them too much.
SO, looking at this bird. It's tiny littleness.
It's passionate song.
Even if you tried not to listen, you would hear it.
You have to.
All I can think is this:
Even if I was small.
tiny itty bitty.
small to my kids.
small to the whole world for that matter...
As long as I am all that I can be,
as long as I sing my song with earnest, and passion.
They will hear it.
They have to.
There really is no choice in the matter.
So, go sing your song too.