Wednesday, November 9, 2011

his sweatshirt.

He was born on a Monday.
To a girl about to turn 24, who had no idea
how he'd change her.
He was born  three weeks early, with dark curly hair, that turned blonde within a matter of months.
He had the most magical blue eyes and the most amazing laugh she'll ever see or hear.
She shook inside for the longest time for fear she'd mess up.
He was her first baby.
That precious baby boy of hers.
He NEVER cried.
Really, he never did.
When he was first talking, he called her aubrey instead of mom and that made her a little sad.

When he was 5. It was the first time she ever left him.
She cried sore, hard tears as she waited at the top of the hill-
and watched that kindergarten class march off.
It broke her heart, and she prayed all day long that it would be a perfect day for him.

When he was 10, she could see a change in him.
He was growing up. He made her feel so proud.
But he still let her snuggle with him at night.
That was when he talked to her. Told her everything.
He loved his mama.
She knew that, without a doubt.
They spent a week in the hospital. They said it was asthma.
She didn't sleep for 4 nights straight in that hospital room.
She loves that boy more than she could ever describe.

He has the most amazing birthmark.
When kids make fun of him,
she thinks she should eat them up.
She tells him that someday he'll find a girl who thinks it's amazing too.

She is not ready for this.
He will become a teen by the end of this year.
This year, her son will become a teenager.
This year is almost over.  It will happen soon.
She buys him shoes and jeans from the men's section now.
She can hardly even believe it.

He doesn't get a lot of talk on this little part of her world
because he is shy, and likes his privacy like his dad.
He's also still quiet,
so she spends her time dealing with the dramas of his baby sisters.

She started wearing his sweatshirt.
When he's gone, a lot of times she puts it on.
It smells like him.  She feels like maybe it will keep him close for just a little bit longer. Maybe it will make her realize just how big he is. Her little boy.
He asks her with a sheepish grin if she's wearing his sweatshirt.
He doesn't ask why.
Maybe he knows that his mama still needs him a little,
and with all her soul hopes he still needs her more than a little too.


  1. This made me cry! My first son who is almost 6 just lost his first tooth last night! They grow to fast.

  2. beautiful post, Aubrey!! my son is still a baby but I am pretty sure I am going to feel the same way as he grows up. so loving!

  3. My heart is pounding. My grandson recently turned 13 and the oldest will be 18 in January. As the Grandmother I watch and think back to the years when they would phone and talk to me for hours. Now, I try my hardest to get them just to talk. I watch as my daughter gets older and I know exactly how she feels watching her 4 babes grow and change. Sometimes I wish I could turn back time for a few hours to certain days when my own kids were small. Sometimes to when an almost 18 year old would call me at 5am to tell me about the cartoons he was watching while Mom and Dad slept. Our secret quiet time. I miss it all but, they grow. Boy do they grow. Inside of every Mother is a place filled with memories. It never empties and, it never over flows. It simply grows to hold more. Love is amazing.


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