Wednesday, July 20, 2011

these days

these days I spend a lot of time looking at this.
while I do that I question. What am I doing?  Am I wasting my time? Am I neglecting my family? Am I too much of a day dream believer?  Is this thing going to be more than it is right now?  What should I do next? That's what I think about lots these days.

These days I have been butting heads with this amazing girl, who I truly adore, but just don't know how to proceed with anymore.  {did I really just utter that?  She's mine.  How could I say that? Well, we made it to 10. But now I'm just, just spent.  I don't want to argue or explain every little thing anymore. It's too much. And I'm the mom right?}She's stubborn and determined and won't lie down for anyone. She's smart and dramatic.  
She's sensitive and OH SO FRUSTRATING.
My husband says she is just like me. Um, doesn't help.
Last night I had to supervise back stage and she and a couple others were crying. One of the older boys had been short one too many times with them.  I took him down. With words of course.  And I feel sort of bad about it today. But I hope he feels worse.  She's still my baby even though she'd probably even argue about that these days. And honestly it reminded me of that.

These days I've had more than a couple special orders. It's fun to see what other people come up with and to imagine what it means to them ;)

How are you doing these days?  We should have coffee and chat.  We should give each other a hug and tell each other that these days you give all you can and try to be the best you, you can be.

1 comment:

  1. You are so amazingly honest. You know when you sign into facebook and read all of the la dee freaking da statuses like, " I have the best husband ever!! How did I get to be so blessed? " or " My kids are so amazing! I love my life!!!"
    Yes, we all feel really legitimately blessed at times but I firmly believe that life is better when we're honest about our feelings and frustrations.
    I like your honesty. It doesn't sound grumpy or cynical or mean. It sounds...real.

    Ps my verification is jumpmanbum. No lie.


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